When the sad comes pouring out

I know I need to finish my last post but that will come in time.  First I just need to write.  The other night Sara was sad. Real sad.  A different sad.  She wanted to spend the night in C's bed.  I told her that it really wasn't his anymore now that he was gone and that she had a bed... Then I asked again why she so badly wanted to sleep in that bed and then the tears came and in between the sobs she said "because I just miss him so much".  My tears came and I held her and told her how much I missed them too.  She cried and grieved like I have never seen her grieve before.  I took her downstairs and rocked her gently and sang to her as she sobbed.  We had so many people say "oh when you get the one who is meant to be the forever in your family you will understand why the other situations didn't work out".  No, you won't.  You will be grateful and over the moon glad and thankful for the blessing you have been given and you will love them like no other but you will still miss the ones that didn't stay forever.  I don't need to understand the whys but I will always miss and love the ones who just briefly passed through our hearts and our home.  Sara has found some comfort in watching the videos we have and hearing little C's voice.  She talks through memories that I have already forgotten and she smiles and laughs and then a tear will fall.  Silently I pray for God to hold her heart and to hold theirs.  She said the other day "mom, it is just so hard missing people."  Oh my heart hurt - she knows loss and as she gets older she will see more are missing from her life may God give us the words and the hugs to help as we walk through her journey.  May those missing spots be held by a Father who loves her more than anyone here on this earth can.