Wordless Wednesday

Loving one that is already here...

I get asked a lot about adoption and our experience, in fact I tend to over talk when people ask. I get so excited when someone says they are thinking about adopting. I selfishly love re-living our journey. I will borrow you adoption books and copy articles for you. I will email you websites to look at. I have had the privilege of connecting with many different families who have used many different agencies and I love it when people ask if I know anyone who used this or that agency and would I be willing to connect them. I am honored to write reference letters for both agencies we have used and for families in the adoption process. Often I give too much information and overwhelm. = ) The part I don't love is defending our choice to adopt or watch other families have to defend their choice to adopt. Each situation is unique, as is every child. Is every family called to adopt - probably not - not for me to say. Is adoption easy? No. Are there parts that will send you to your knees in prayer? YES - more than once. Will you question your choice and will you wonder if it is the right thing to do? yes. There was a ton of second guessing and questioning with all three of our kiddos. Do I regret any of it? No.

Recently a good friend wrote on her blog about one of her kids crying out in the night for her when they were having a bad dream. It reminded me of one night while we were still in the prayer part of whether or not it was the right time to adopt that Ella had a bad dream. Both Pete and I ran to her, held her and talked with her until she could fall back asleep. I remember thinking somewhere there is a child that is crying out because they are afraid and no one is running to them. No one is holding them until they feel safe enough to fall back asleep. It may sound like a little thing but at that point I knew adoption was right for our family. There is a great line from the movie Martian Child - John Cusack's character when talking about adoption and parenting says "I get all the arguments against it. I even get the one that says 'I don't know if I want to bring another kid into this world' but how do you argue with the logic of loving one that is already here."

Standing Tall

We wrestle, I tug, we attach, we bond. My fingers finally find a rhythm and start to flow. I feel privileged and humbled to be doing her hair. I feel very inadequate but willing to learn. I feel proud as she shows off her new "do" to daddy. I know we both have a long way to go but for a moment I feel proud. Her hair is still short and the options are limited but I am trying. She is getting used to the pulling and I liken it to when your child has to teach themselves to fall asleep without your rocking and singing. It breaks your heart to hear them cry but you know this is for the best. You still occasionally sneak in to pat them on the back or tuck them back in with a kiss. I sometimes don't tug as hard when she looks at me with her big eyes and says "ouch" but I tell her that they have to be tight to stay in. I repeat the names of her friends who also sit through long hair sessions. I repeat a phrase that I heard growing up "beauty is pain". I watch her walk away taking a quick glance in the mirror and walking a little taller.



I get it - there will be times when I can't explain why things are different for her. When I can't fully understand where she is coming from and what she is feeling. I won't always be there to answer strangers' prying and sometimes judgemental questions. But I can honor her past and do my part to help her feel that she fits in. As a family we can be a part of the future and for today I will stand tall.



"To all children of African descent, may they find in their past the strength to shape their future." E. Greenfield



http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=8068d88772a2b0793daecb&skin_id=701

Ethiopia Wordless Wednesday