So which ones are your real kids?

At a recent birthday party I had a mom ask the always fun question "so which ones are your real kids?"

Silly lady, they are all real. I love them all with my real heart. They have real fears, real hurts, real joys, real fights, real struggles, real hopes and real dreams. Our family may not look like a lot of other families but it is real.

I like this definition of real from brainyquote.com:

Real - Pertaining to things fixed, permanent, or immovable. True, genuine. Actually being or existing.

All three of our kiddos entered this world in different places and in different ways but it was all real and I am so thankful. As a family we are permanent, we are true and genuine. We are real.

Conversations

Here is a sample of some of the conversations that occur around our home in the waking hours of one day:

Sara to Pete as he walks in the door from work: "Dad, you would be so proud of me. I didn't try to crush my head today."

Pete to me: "Do my shins seem short to you?"

Ella to me: "So what you are saying is that I am signed up for Daisy's, guitar lessons, skating and cheer leading? Then do I still have to go to school?" Yeah, that may be a bit too much.

Anders to me while he is sitting going to the bathroom: "mom, come in here. I am hiding something that you can't find." um, no I'm okay on that one

Nurse to me: "Anders' biopsy results came back normal." For that one there are no words, just one big sigh of relief...

They have started...

For the last couple of weeks Sara has been asking some pretty tough questions. They are always after I tuck her in and pray for her. She asks why she wasn't in my tummy and why she was in her birth mommy's tummy instead. We walk through her story, we hug, we smile and I remind her that I love her and she has a birth mommy who also loves her. I thought I would have more time before the questions started. I guess I thought she would be older. I'm not sure why - I think maybe I thought I would prepare some sort of speech or, knowing me, a presentation. But the questions are beyond me so I pray each time that my words will calm her little heart, ease her mind if only just a bit and encourage her to ask anytime no matter how hard it may be. I pray that she will always feel ok coming to me with her questions. I don't see them becoming easier but I do see us building the trust that is needed to walk through it together. I've picked up some of my books from when we started the adoption process and re-read some sections I highlighted. I've asked some friends for advice. Watched some documentaries on adoption and then I do my best to answer with love and honesty. So here we go. No speeches or presentations. Just us - a family - learning and growing together.