Learning the Lessons that I Can't Teach

Monday morning Ella was getting her tennis shoes on and she looked up
at me and said "Mom, sometimes it is hard to keep praying when you
have been waiting so long." So we talked about our faith and how we
believe God knows the best for our family - He sees the beginning and
the end and we can only see today and how super cool that is... She
got quiet for a moment and said "It must be such a hard choice for a
birth mommy to pick a family that she has never even met. You know
like Moses' birth mom and having to put him in a basket. That must
have been so hard. We need to pray even harder for the birth moms."

Anders had been listening and he asked Ella to remind him again of the
story of Moses so as we drove to the bus stop Ella told the story of
Moses from the perspective of a birth mom and it was real and eloquent
and beautiful and hard. Honestly, I have never thought of that story
from a birth mom's perspective. I had never pictured her as a birth
mom. These are the moments that I couldn't teach if we hadn't been in
this journey. There is a song where the words say "there is always a
purpose in the wait." We are living that and it is good. Not always
easy but it is good.

As Ella stepped out of the van she looked up at me and smiled and said
"I know we are learning a lot and that God has a plan but mom I am
ready for that baby to come." I just smiled and said "me too."

I am again reminded of our family verse which is I Peter 5: 6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's MIGHTY hand, that He may
lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares
for you.

It is one thing to walk a journey for you but another when you choose one where you have to walk as a family. I remember talking with a friend who was struggling in a time of waiting. I felt God give me a picture of maybe this waiting is not just about what I need to learn about waiting but also teaching my children what it means to wait in Christ. I don't know what their futures hold but I know they will have times of waiting and those times may be filled with hurt and pain. To teach them to find thankfulness. Not thankful necessarily "for" the reason they are waiting but to find thankfulness in the wait. To teach them to cry out to Christ in joy and pain, in sorrow and blessing - to reach for His hand in the darkness, to hold on tight to a Father that will never leave them or forsake them.

To me that is what being a mom is - to walk the walk and allow them to question and search and find their faith. I pray that path will lead them to a relationship that is beautiful and mighty. A path that doesn't lose the faith of a child, the faith that still sees miracles. The faith that doesn't match things to coincidences but to divine appointments. The faith that isn't wearied by the hardships of life but encouraged to look to an eternity of beauty. Oh Lord, may they be strong in You.